Thursday, March 30, 2006

Bear video

You have to watch the video that DK shot at the game farm. Make sure you have your speakers or headphones on - I think the audio is the funniest part! It is safe for work with headphones. It takes a minute to load, but is worth the wait. :)

Watch the bear video.

Related posts:
Yaks and Bison and Bears - Oh my! - 3/28/06
Weekend Vacation - 3/27/06

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Yaks and Bison and Bears - Oh my!

On Saturday I was sitting at a blackjack table in this little casino where everyone knows everyone, kind of like on Cheers. One woman at the table said she was going to head out but that she didn't have anything to do and was bored. A guy at the table said "Why don't you go to the game farm?" The woman said "I just washed my car; I don't want the buffalo slobbering all over it." My head snaped up from my chips "There's a place where buffalo slobber on your car?" The woman said yes and told me a little bit more about it. The guy recommended that we bring a loaf of bread to feed the buffalo. I assumed that he was trying to set me up to get trampled by bison. (People call them buffalo, but they are really bison.) I grabbed my drink and chips and asked the security guard at the door if he knew anything about a game farm. He told me that there was a brochure in the lobby. I called and they were closed but said that they would be open the next day.

On Sunday DK and I went to the Olympic Game Farm in Sequim. We brought a loaf of bread with us just incase it was safe to feed the animals. As we pulled up to the gate, we notice two signs. "Do not feed the animals" and "Bread $2 per loaf". WTF? So can we feed them or not? (I am working on a post about stupid signs. Keep an eye out for that one.) We find out that we can feed the animals but not the caged animals. Would it really be that hard to add the word "caged" to the first sign to clarify it? The teenager at the entrance makes us sign a waiver form that probably said all the routine shit like we can't sue them, we could be killed or maimed by bison, our car may get chewed on by elk, etc.

First we drove past a bunch of peacocks, then past the prairie dogs. The prairie dogs were cute and enjoyed the bread that we threw to them. We were at the top of a hill looking down at a bunch of yaks lumbering around cars that had stopped on the trail. The yaks were sticking their heads into the car windows and people were feeding them by hand! We drove down the hill to the yaks and they came up to our windows and slobbered all over because even though they look dumb, they know one thing for certain: CARS = FOOD! A bunch of yaks stuck their heads into the car in front of us and the people in the car were laughing hysterically. We could see that most of the back window was packed with various bread products like dinner rolls, hamburger and hotdog buns, etc. One of the yaks pulled his head out of the window and he had dinner rolls stuck on his horns! Freaking hilarious! We fed some of the yaks and continued on.


We passed by a giant rhino that was in a pen and an ostrich. Then we entered an area that had a sign that said something like: do not stop, keep moving, stay in car. Everyone else was stopped with their windows down feeding the elk and bison. We drove over the cattle gate and all of a sudden these huge elk were on each side of the car. They must have been about 7 feet tall! We rolled down our windows a crack and each stuck a slice of bread out. The elk ate the bread, stuck their tongues in the windows and chewed on the door frame! (Good thing we are driving the Pathfinder instead of Bumble or Kit!)


We drove on towards the bison. The bison were freaking humongous! They are the heaviest land animal in North America and easily the height and length of the Pathfinder! They moved towards us really slowly and just kind of looked at us. They were waiting for some bread! So we fed them through the tiny opening in the window. Then we got more creative and stuck slices of bread to the top of the side-view mirrors for them to nibble on. They were slobbering everywhere! It was awesome! There was a baby bison and I fed it right out of my hand and it licked me!


Next we approached the bear area. I wasn't sure that it was smart to roll down our windows here. The bears were behind very small, weak wire fences that were only about 3 feet high. I noticed that the fence was electrified but was that really going to stop them? The people in the car in front of us (the stoney kids that put the dinner rolls on the yak) were throwing bread out the window to a bear that was sitting just inside the fence. The bear would sometimes catch the bread in his mouth but most of the time he picked it up with his giant bear claws and ate it. All of a sudden the bear waved. No joke – he waved like a person. The kids threw another slice and he waved again! This was a trained bear! We drove to another bear area and this bear was sitting on the ground holding his toes. I suspect this was another trick, not as cool as the waving, but pretty cute so we gave him some bread too.


The Olympic Game Farm was awesome and I would totally do it again!


Related posts:
Bear Video - 3/30/06
Weekend Vacation - 3/27/06

Monday, March 27, 2006

The Sports Ticker Wedding Band

On Saturday night DK and I were enjoying a nice dinner in Port Townsend and talking about what type of wedding bands we want. He finally decided what type of band he wants.


The band would display up to the minute sports scores for every sport he follows. When I gave him a funny look he added "We can add figure skating to it if you want!" (I don't even like figure skating, but I guess he thought I would go for it if it had "girly" sport scores.)

He would be able to turn the band on and off whenever he wanted. This would allow some husbands to hide the ticker from their wives. When the wife sees the husband staring intently at his wedding band and asks what he is doing, he would just switch it off and say "just looking at my wedding band and thinking of you my dear."

Related posts:
Sizing Ring Wedding Band - 4/25/06
Mini Vacations - 3/15/06
Wedding Countdown - 3/9/06

Weekend Vacation

DK and I had a wonderful time in Port Townsend! We stayed in the haunted Manresa Castle but luckily we didn't see any ghosts. We went to the casino, ate lots of delicious food, and went to the Olympic Game Farm! I need to devote a whole post to the game farm. Look for that later this week!

Related posts:
Bear Video - 3/30/06
Yaks and Bison and Bears - Oh my! - 3/28/06

Friday, March 24, 2006

Win a date with FABIO!

Hey Ladies! Hold on - I have to empty my vomit filled waste basket so I can puke some more. Does anyone want to enter this sweepstakes?
I found this on DListed.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Sleep Deprived Cat Owner

I need to sleep! For the past 10 years I have trained my cats Chloe and Fuzzy to cuddle with me at night. Chloe even crawls under the covers and puts her head on my pillow! Cute right?

I can't sleep anymore. It gets worse everyday! They are constantly pawing at the covers to get under or crawling on me or purring right by my ear! I feel like I have a freaking kid! A very, very needy kid!

Night before last we blocked off this chair that Chloe normally sleeps in. We thought that she needed some exercise and maybe if we took away her favorite spot to sleep, she would move around some more and lose some weight. She has a heart problem, so staying in decent shape is kind of important. If she didn't have the heart problem I would let her get as fat and happy as she wanted to. She crawled all over me all freaking night! She now has her chair back. Smart cat huh?

Early this morning (4:45 am) I was sleeping peacefully. All of a sudden I am doused with cold water. Chloe was up on my nightstand and knocked over my water! Trust me, this is the worst way to wake up in the whole wide world. If you do not believe that, I will be happy to sneak into your house at 4:45 am and pour cold water on you.

I was pissed that I was wet and cold and that my side of the bed was all wet, but I wasn't really mad at Chloe because she didn't mean to do it, she's just clumsy.

I am a giant child that loves monsters

I am not sure which came first, Ugly Dolls or Creature Co-op, but I love them both!

I have 6 ugly dolls:
Bop & Beep
Mini Babo
Mini Ox

I don't have any Creature Co-op critters yet. My favorites are:
Yeti (of course!)

Related posts:
New Uglys - 7/17/06
My Dwight Schrute Bobble Head! - 7/13/06
Abe the Yeti - 6/1/06
Meet My New Ugly Doll, Wedgehead! - 5/8/06
iPod Mini - 4/21/06
Cube Cult-ure - 3/17/06
Keeping up in the business world - 3/16/06

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wanted: Pop Rivet Gun

Does anyone have a pop rivet gun that I can borrow for a weekend? I need to replace the latch on one of Bumble's vent windows and I need to pop rivet the new latch on. It only takes 2 rivets, so I don't really want to buy one just for this small project. Plus Home Depot is out of stock. Thanks!

Related posts:
Little Miss Sunshine - 7/19/06
Camping - 6/14/06
Cars and Bumble Love - 4/17/06
Wanted: Pop Rivet Gun - 3/22/06
Shiny New Things - 3/2/06
Watch Out Bitches! - 2/28/06
Smoking & Bumble - 2/16/06

TV - My Favorite Hobby

I would like to tell you about a few new TV shows that I have been watching.

Dead Famous: Ghostly Encounters (Biography Channel)
Chris the sensitive and Gayle the skeptic search for the spirit of a different dead celebrity each week. Usually they don't find who they are looking for, but something spooky always happens. A lot of the episodes take place in Hollywood and the history of the buildings and people of old Hollywood is very interesting. I highly recommend the Lucile Ball and Jim Morrison episodes.

Survivorman (Discovery Science Channel)
Les Stroud the crazy Canadian spends 7 days stranded alone in various wild places to educate us on survival skills in different regions. He has no camera crew and no real food to speak of. Sometimes they give him a tiny amount of food that a person in his situation may have with them. For example, in the Canyonlands episode he had 3 Fritos and a small chunk of a Power Bar in his pocket. He calls his hat a tuk like my Canadian friend B.E. I highly recommend all episodes, but I think the Arctic and the Georgia Swamp episodes are the best.

There is another show that is similar to Survivorman that I have not seen yet. If you know what this show is called, please let me know so I can TiVo it. Thanks!

The Great Paper Slot Machine

A friend and I pooled our money and won $250 on a pulltab last night! Yea!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Taking Away Our Rights

I am so sick of all these new laws!

So this town in California is taking the smoking ban to a whole new level.

"Having a smoking area in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool," said Dr. Thomas Pfeffer of the American Heart Association in Los Angeles.

As long as this comparison is being made, can we please outlaw peeing in pools! I would like to see all those kindergarteners get arrested and hauled off to the pokey WITHOUT THEIR SECURITY/COMFORT BLANKETS!

Now I agree that smoking should not be allowed in restaurants and I am kind of on board with the non-smoking bar thing too, but outlawing smoking on the street or on your own deck/patio? This is going too far. If someone told me I couldn't smoke on my own deck, I would say "Fuck you, you're trespassing, get your nosy ass out of here BITCH!" I don't even smoke anymore and this really pisses me off!

Read the article.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Selling Drugs to Kids

Summary from the AP:
OAKLAND, United States (AFP) - US federal agents that busted a marijuana ring were disturbed to find pot-laced candy and soft drinks potentially tempting to children, officials said.
Confiscated items reportedly bore labels including:
  • Stoney Ranchers
  • Munchy Way
  • Rasta Reece's
  • Buddafingers
  • Pot Tarts
  • Double Puff Oreo
  • Keef Kat
  • Twixed
  • Budtella
  • Puff-A-Mint Pattie
  • Puffsi
  • Bong's Root Beer
  • Toka-Cola.

Full article.

Ash Says:
Yes, selling drugs to kids is wrong, but you have to admit these are some pretty creative and effing hilarious product names! :)

Cube Cult-ure

I bought these from to decorate my work space:

Finally, the drudgery of corporate life has been captured in a play set for adults! Ann spends eight hours a day, five days a week, at a tiny desk in a tiny cubicle in a giant room packed with countless similar cubicles in a giant building filled with countless similar rooms. Each set has one 2-3/4" (7 cm) posable plastic figure and all the necessary plastic parts to build a classic corporate cube: four walls, desk, chair, file cabinet, in/out box, phone, and computer. Build one to look exactly like your current workspace or, better yet, construct a whole labyrinth of cubes to make your own miniature office where you’re the boss! Comes with a sticker sheet of decor for your cube, complete with graphs, charts, screens for the computer and pithy office posters. Also includes a job title sticker sheet so you can create a convoluted and meaningless position for your employee.

Every few months, the Cubes get a visit from Eve, the sensitivity consultant. Will she succeed in educating them all about harassment and sexism? Will she steal away with Ted into the janitor’s closet on lunch break? Each 2-3/4" (7 cm) tall posable plastic figure comes with a plastic pointer, four paper visual aids and a 2-1/4" (5.7 cm) tall plastic easel!

Related posts:
New Uglys - 7/17/06
My Dwight Schrute Bobble Head! - 7/13/06
Abe the Yeti - 6/1/06
Meet My New Ugly Doll, Wedgehead! - 5/8/06
iPod Mini - 4/21/06
I am a giant child that loves monsters - 3/23/06
Keeping up in the business world - 3/16/06

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Bomb dog's alert delays NCAA game

Article Summary from Reuters:
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A San Diego arena was evacuated for about two hours on Thursday, delaying a first-round game in the hugely popular national college basketball championship, after a hot dog cart attracted the attention of a bomb-sniffing dog.
Read the article.

Ashley Says:
Huh, a cart full of hot dogs attracted the attention of a dog? I wonder why the dog was so interested in the cart in question. This wouldn't happen if they employed snooty French Poodles as sniffer dogs, they would never stoop so low as to eat a hot dog. Spot's gonna get fired! Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ;)

Keeping up in the business world

I bought this paper-palm-pad to keep up in meetings. It is actually just a scratch pad that looks like a Palm Pilot. One guy at my office has a PDA and he uses it all the time in meetings. I think you look smarter and more important when you have a PDA. :)

It makes me mad when CENSOR.

Related posts:
New Uglys - 7/17/06
My Dwight Schrute Bobble Head! - 7/13/06
Abe the Yeti - 6/1/06
Meet My New Ugly Doll, Wedgehead! - 5/8/06
iPod Mini - 4/21/06
I am a giant child that loves monsters - 3/23/06
Cube Cult-ure - 3/17/06

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Mini Vacations

DK and I have a few mini vacations coming up and I am very excited!

Mini Vacation #1: In April we are going up to the wedding location for the weekend to taste food and decide on our reception menu!

Mini Vacation #2: For my birthday DK got me a weekend getaway. We are going to Port Townsend to stay at the Manresa Castle. We have stayed there once before and it was awesome. The castle has a ton of history and is beautifully decorated. It is also said to be haunted. While we are up there we are also going to go to the 7 Cedars Casino! :)

Related posts:
Sizing Ring Wedding Band - 4/25/06
The Sports Ticker Wedding Band - 3/27/06
Wedding Countdown - 3/9/06

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Funny Videos

Korean Girls Money Karaoke
"It's all about the money in this spirited round of video karaoke with two enthusiastic (okay, crazy) Korean girls." The girl in the black jacket's dancing is effing hilarious! I love it at the end when she smells her armpit! Do Bri and I look this good when we do karaoke?

Patches the Horse
Patches the horse likes to ride in the car, much on cheeseburgers and fetch beer from the fridge. Chris, your birthday is coming up and if I were rich, I would buy Patches for you. Bri would kill me.

Burger Trick
"An illusionist makes a fast food sandwich appear out of nowhere. Freaky."

Life is for Living
"The producers of It Only Takes Second return with a sequel that takes workplace accidents to new heights of hilarity."

Monday, March 13, 2006

Another Fluffy Critter

I also love this English Angora rabbit. It looks like a giant ball of fur with a face! :)

Dog Show

Corgi: My favorite breed of dog. How cute is this baby?

Yesterday we went to the Seattle Kennel Club Dog Show. I have two cats and I like most dogs, but I am not really a dog person. DK and I have talked about getting a dog at some point and when I describe the type of dog that I want, he says "You are describing a cat!" :) Our opinions of what size dog to get are also very different. I of course want a cat-sized dog, and DK wants one that is around 40 pounds. I think that when we do get a dog it will just kind of find us, so we won't actually have to make any decisions about size or breed or slobber level, etc.

Back to the dog show. Two of our friends who I would describe as dog people invited us. They have a wonderful little dog named Sally. DK and I knew we wanted to go, but we didn't really know what to expect. It was sooooooo fun! We got there just in time for the best of each category (toy, sporting, working, etc.) competition. That was nice because you get to see the best dog from each breed and being the dog show novice that I am, watching the judge pick the best of the breed wouldn't have meant that much to me. I judge dogs on how cute and sweet they are, not if they have good teeth or eyes or how they walk.

The best in show judge was wearing a Yellow Labrador Retriever tie! Talk about bias! Guess who won the whole shebang? Yes, the Yellow Labrador Retriever! I was rooting for the Corgi because they are my favorite dogs in the world! I like their giant fox ears and their stubby little legs. The judge also had a Hitler mustache and strange posture that I would describe as Hitler like.

We went back into the grooming area and the teams were primping their prized pups. It was interesting to watch. A Malamute was getting his hair dried and I thought "Geez! I don't even own a hairdryer, let alone have someone who will dry and brush my hair for me!"

With the exception of the Corgi, I seem to like the really fluffy dogs or the ones with a curled squirrel type tail. They had a Chow Chow that was just one giant ball of fluff. Very cute, but also very hard to maintain I would imagine. I also really liked the Akita, but they are pretty big, a similar looking dog that is more my size is the Sheba Inu.

Walking through the parking lot, you see a lot of dog show people. They seem to all have the same attitude. It says something like “Coming through, coming through, out of my way, I am a dog show person!” We also saw a wide variety of dog themed bumper stickers. There were a lot of “I heart my (insert breed here)” stickers. But also some that were a little feistier like “My Golden Retriever is smarter than your honor student.”

It was a great adventure topped off with a delicious Mexican feast.

Friday, March 10, 2006

My Worst Nightmare

Summary from the AFP:
PARIS (AFP) - The Pentagon is reportedly funding research into neural implants with the ultimate hope of turning sharks into "stealth spies" capable of gliding undetected through the ocean. According to the British weekly New Scientist, the research builds on experimental work to control animals by implanting tiny electrodes in their brain, which are then stimulated to induce a behavioral response.
Read the article.

Ashley Says:
This is a terrible fucking idea! Hasn't anyone seen Jaws? "... stimulated to induce a behavioral response." You mean a behavioral response like KILL?

What happens when lightning strikes the ocean or something crazy like that tweaks the brain implants and all of the sharks go nuts and jump out of the water and snatch people right off of boats?

Or what if someone that the government doesn't like is on vacation in Florida and decides to take a dip in the ocean. Sounds safe right? Will the government use their brain implanted killing machines to just swim over and gobble up the target? Why leak a CIA agent's name to the press when you can just plan a shark attack instead? "Oh no public, that wasn't one of the mutant robot brain implanted sharks, that was a 100% natural shark that got her! Our official position is that sometimes shit happens!"

Here is what I think the government-controlled-mutant-robot-brain-implanted-shark-remote will look like. Picture it in the cold, slimy hand of W.

Related posts:
Asshole! - 7/14/06
Make a Wish - 4/6/06

Great Photos

These are both from MSNBC's the week in pictures.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Wedding Countdown

This is cool! Thanks to Bri for showing it to me!

Related posts:
Sizing Ring Wedding Band - 4/25/06
The Sports Ticker Wedding Band - 3/27/06
Mini Vacations - 3/15/06

Turd Twister

One of you is going to get this for Christmas! He he heeee!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


Today is my birthday.
I am 9,490 days old.
-or- I am 227,760 hours old.
-or- I am 13,665,600 minutes old.
-or- I am 819,936,000 seconds old.

Here is my birthday personal ad:
Almost married WF seeks an exciting evening with her best buds. Ideal evening includes all of you, tons of yummy Italian food and drinks after dinner. Long walks on the beach and snuggling by the fire on a bear skin rug not necessary. Can you help make my dream come true? ;)

Birthday Food:
DK picked up birthday breakfast for me. He said he would make anything I wanted. What a nice guy! I asked for a maple bar and a fauxmosa. A fauxmosa is a drink I invented for those days that you want a mimosa, but you can't drink because you have to go to work or something. It is just OJ and bubbly water. Delicious and refreshing. Did you know that in some parts of the country they don't have maple bars? Some people have never even heard of maple bars, much less enjoyed their sugary goodness. I feel so bad for them. For those of you that have never seen a maple bar, here you go:

Tonight DK and I are going out to dinner. I can't decide if I want nachos or Italian food. Maybe nachos since we are going out for Italian on Saturday.

Birthday Present:
I bought myself a birthday present. It has aquamarines in it. (That is my birthstone.) The stones are actually bluer than they look in this picture. I normally don't buy things like this, but I wanted a cocktail ring and loved this one!

Related posts:
So Many May Birthdays! - 5/5/06
Dear Bri, - 4/24/06
Today is DK's birthday! - 4/14/06

Yanni Arrested in Alleged Domestic Dispute

Attention middle-aged ladies! Yanni is an alleged woman beater! Not so romantic huh?

Read the article.

On a side note, Kenny G smokes pot!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Real Life Simpsons Intro

The producers of 'The Simpsons' created this live action version of the show's opening credits which will soon air on Britain's Sky One.

Watch the video.

This is very cool! My one small complaint is that Marge should have bigger hair. But other than that, it is great!

Bitch Beer!

That last post made me think about good old Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.

A couple of years ago, Bri and I were reminiscing about Boone's and we wondered if Boone's just tasted good when we were 16 because it was the forbidden fruit or if it is really good.

It was time to embark on a very important mission. We drove to the little QFC in Bellevue and were looking around the wine section for some Strawberry Hill. We weren't having much luck, so we asked an employee. He was pretty young, maybe 16 - 18 years old. At first he didn't know what Boone's was (I know, I know, we couldn't believe it either), but we described it to him and the light bulb above his head lit up. He said to us, no joke: "It's probably with all of the other cheap wines." Oh - Very helpful! Thank you soooooo much! We hadn't thought of that! Of course, we had already scoured the Wild Vines and Arbor Mist section. We struck out, I guess Boone's isn't a big seller in Bellevue.

Eventually we found some Boone's. I have to say, it is super sweet and all that sugar can give you a killer hangover, but it is fizzy and refreshing just like we remembered. So now every once in a while we will drink some Boone's just for fun.

When I was in Hawaii a while back for a friend's wedding I realized how expensive everything is there. So when we went shopping at Wal-Mart for some basics, we picked up a Styrofoam cooler and every flavor of Boone's that they had. (Wal-Mart carries 5 flavors!) I NEVER thought I would say this but here we go... Yea Wal-Mart! In the greater Seattle area, a bottle of pink bum beer will run you $1.99, in Hawaii it is almost $5.00 a bottle! We had a great time, sitting on those white sandy beaches at the super fancy resorts drinking our Boone's and laughing at the old European grape smugglers running around.

The Choking Game

This is so strange.

Summary from the AP:
WHITEFIELD, N.H. - Police and school officials are issuing warnings about a potentially fatal game gaining popularity among teenagers after the death of a 14-year-old boy. Eighth-grader Rodney Webster died last week after choking himself to deprive his brain of oxygen so he could feel a brief rush when the blood flow returned.

Read the article.
Stop the Choking Game Web site.

Ashley Says:
It is very sad that young people are dying from choking themselves and I truly feel bad for this boy's family.

What ever happened to the old fashioned way to impair judgement? When I was a teenager people would get high by smoking pot. Of course you could always drink some Boone's Farm, Mad Dog, an Old E 40, or a few Mickey's grenades. (You have to throw the bottles after you polish off the Mickey's grenades, that's really the only reason to buy them!)

But now kids sit in their rooms and choke each other. Yikes, I am glad I am not a teenager these days. It is a seriously effed up world.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Ave Maria

Summary from the AP:
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan, who is helping to bankroll the birth of a Florida town and university, backtracked Friday from comments that he'd like the community to be governed by strict Roman Catholic principles.
The town will not allow adult bookstores or topless clubs. However, it will merely suggest, not prohibit, businesses from selling adult magazines or contraceptives.
Barron Collier executive Blake Gable said homosexuals will be welcome despite the church's belief that homosexuality is a sin.

Read the full article.
View the Ave Maria official Web site.

My thoughts:
I respect all religions and I do not have any strong views on Catholicism, but this kind of freaks me out. I am not 100% sure why, but it just does.

Maybe I don't like this idea because it seems like it will be a segregated little bubble that people live in. Nice, clean, proper, polite, strait-laced and not at all real. Kind of like that movie Pleasantville, or The Stepford Wives.

"Homosexuals will be welcome despite the church's belief that homosexuality is a sin." Oh really? I wonder how welcoming the residents will be to the "sinners". So the town is open to anyone who wants to live there, but why would anyone want to live there if they didn't fit into the mold of the population the founders are trying to attract?

I guess this is similar in some ways to Amish communities, Native American reservations or communes. Occasionally communes go terribly wrong and I believe that happens because they are filled with "insiders" and "outsiders" don't just walk in and take a peak. Yes, I am paranoid!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Age Defying Makeup

I am sure that many of you have met my friend Bri. Bri recently went back to college to finish up her degree after taking a few years off. She is all set to graduate in May. Because she lives in a small college town she spends a lot of time with people that are just a few years younger than her. Bri is the baby of our group of friends at 24 years old.

Bri mentioned to one of her fellow students (I will call him Goober) that her birthday is coming up next month.
Goober asked Bri how old she will be.
She replied that she is turning 25.
Goober looked at her very seriously and asked "Do you wear age defying makeup?"

Goober - are you effing kidding me?
She is going to be 25 for Christ’s sake!
Most 24 year olds do NOT have wrinkles or liver spots or anything like that!
They don't need age defying makeup!
And how do you even know about age defying makeup?
What man between the ages of 18 and 22 would even know that age defying makeup exists?
You watch too much TV and pay too much attention to the commercials.
Don't you have a TiVo? Do you live in the freaking Stone Age?
And by the time you are in college you should know not to ask stupid questions like "How old are you?" and "Do you wear age defying makeup?"
I am afraid there is no hope for you Goober!

Thursday, March 02, 2006


Recently I have been thinking about funny tattoos.

First Scratch Padding posted this on his blog. That is such a clever tattoo, because you can either keep your eyebrows shaved so it shows, or if you know that in about six months you are going to be looking for a job you can let them grow out! Genius! ;)

Then I was out getting drinks with Bri and she mentioned that a FOAF (friend of a friend) has a mustache tattooed on his pointer finger so he can hold it up under his nose as a disguise! That was the funniest freaking thing I had ever heard! It is a great disguise! How many of you would recognize me if I had a mustache?!?! NONE OF YOU WOULD! The only problem with this tattoo is that when you are not holding the mustached finger under your nose, it looks like you have an odd shaped turd tattooed on your pointer finger. I took the liberty of drawing a quick picture to show you how this works.

Shiny New Things

I just placed an order with Wolfsburg West! (That's where I get most of the parts for Bumble.) I am so excited! This stuff is going to look great on my Bumble Bee!

Here's what I ordered:

Chrome Hub Caps
(I am going to repaint the white trim on the wheels and then pop these babies on! Nice huh?)

Chrome Headlight Trim
(These will make it look like Bumble has little chrome eyelids!)

Stainless Steel Side View Mirrors
(The set that Bumble has is rusty.)

New Sun Visors

I still need to get the front vent grill and the bumpers chromed, but that is going to be expensive, so I am going to wait a bit on that. I could buy new stainless steel bumpers, and that might actually be cheaper than chroming the old bumpers.

I also have a HUGE wishlist on Wolfsberg, but I am just going to do this bit-by-bit. :)

Related posts:
Little Miss Sunshine - 7/19/06
Camping - 6/14/06
Cars and Bumble Love - 4/17/06
Wanted: Pop Rivet Gun - 3/22/06
Watch Out Bitches! - 2/28/06
Smoking & Bumble - 2/16/06