For now, please enjoy this sunset photo that I took from our back yard one evening a few weeks ago.
Thanksgiving set up:
Christmas lights - We have about 3,000 more to put up!
We decorated the tree with help from our friends:
I was watching Antiques Roadshow the other night and they had a segment called “Roadshow Treasures” on that episode.
All of these are legitimate companies dealing in regular products and services, but they (obviously) didn't think their domain names through. Most of them are prime candidates for the "What was I thinking?" Award...
ALL these websites actually exist, selling something totally benign (and work-safe, in case you're wondering).
I don't know why I was just thinking about this, but it is funny as hell!
- OR -
PAY FOR 55 THANKSGIVING MEALS FOR HUNGRY PEOPLE!
Please visit their web site to make a tax deductible donation!
Hey, would you rather give that money to the government or people who really need it to do good in our community?
With Halloween just around the corner I thought I would share a funny story from last Halloween.
Today I went to court and legally changed my name! When the judge called me up to the table with the microphone and asked me if I was petitioning to change my name I wanted to scream "I OBJECT" so badly, but I figured he wouldn't think it was as funny as I did. Also, he yelled at someone for wearing a hat in court. Luckily he didn’t yell at me for wearing my pajama sweat suit.
I had a crazy dream last night and I thought I would share it with all of you. I dreamt that I was in Vegas and won a lot of money on a slot machine. I do play slots sometimes in Vegas, but only Lobster Mania because it plays the B52's Rock Lobster when you win and Wheel of Fortune because well, spinning the wheel is fun! Back to my dream: So in my dream I had been drinking when I won big on the slot. So I decided that I should commemorate this win with a tattoo. Then in my dream I woke up in the morning with a huge tattoo of a slot machine covering my entire forearm with "This girl won $600,000!" tattooed under it. I was like OH SHIT! At least it didn't say "Who has two thumbs and won $600,000?" Very strange dream!
I am going to send this letter to Willie Nelson next week. If you can think of anything else I should add, please post it in the comments for consideration.
Dear Willie Nelson,
My name is Ashley and I am 26 years old. I am recently married and live in a suburb of Seattle Washington called Bellevue. I read somewhere that you used to have a radio show in Vancouver Washington, so maybe you are familiar with the area.
Wow – I have never written to a celebrity before! Let me start by saying how much I appreciate all that you do for the people of this county, first and foremost with Farm Aid. I try to support that effort by buying goods from farmers directly at our local farmer’s market. We even bought the flowers for our wedding strait from a family farm.
I am writing to you because I would like to invite you to my 27th birthday party. For a long time now I have said that if I win the lotto, finding a way to get Willie Nelson to come to my birthday party would be the first thing I would do, maybe by making a big donation to one of your favorite charities. I guess most people day dream about buying a yacht or a gigantic house or something. Well, here I am at 26 and a half, and I have still not won the lotto and I don’t see a big donation in my future. Oh well. So I figured I would write to you and just invite you to my birthday party which will be held on Saturday, March 10th, 2007 at 8:00 PM at our house (address below) on the off chance that you would be in the area and able to make it.
I have liked your music since I was a kid. I grew up listening to you and one of my favorite memories of childhood is my step-mom singing Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys to me. My husband D**** and I saw you at Farm Aid at the White River Amphitheater a while back and it was a great show. We also enjoyed watching your son’s performance – he sure is talented.
I watched your biography a while back and I was so impressed to learn that when you were just starting out you would pawn your guitar on Monday and buy it back by Friday when you got an advance on a weekend show. That’s true dedication and I for one am glad that you stuck with it. If every person in the world put that much effort into solving just one problem, it would be a much better place to live.
If someone were to ask me to name my five favorite songs of all time, my list would include at least three and maybe even four of your songs. Every time we drive my car somewhere my husband says “Don’t you ever change your CD?”
Willie, I hope you can make it to my birthday party – it would mean the world to me and my whole family but I also understand you are a busy person who travels a lot. Thank you for your time.
P.S. I have also included a wedding picture with you Photoshoped in.
Warm Regards,
__________________________
Ashley *. *****
***** ** **** **.
Bellevue, WA 98004
***-***-****
(* = content removed for the blog post.)
On Friday I was at the gym working out and there were two teenagers making out in front of the gym. My gym is right by a 7-11 so there are always teenagers hanging out there. The owner of the gym is this really funny lady from East L.A. She is super nice, but I wouldn't mess with her. She spots the teens making out and walks out there and says "Can I help you with something?" they ignore her so she says "Hey, your making out right in front of my no loitering sign, move it somewhere else!" The guy goes "If you want us to move you should just say, get the fuck out of here." So she says "I was trying to be nice, but OK, get the FUCK out of here." So they walk across the street to where some other teenagers are hanging out.
On Tuesday DK and I went to the airport and when we got back an hour later Fuzzy was limping pretty badly. We were worried, but figured that she just pulled a muscle or something and that we would give it a day or so and see if she got better.
On Wednesday morning when I left for work she was sleeping in my closet in her normal spot. I called the vet and they agreed with our opinion that we should give it a day and see how it goes. When I got home from work that day she was still in the same spot. I wanted to see how she was walking but since she didn't look like she was going to go anywhere I had to come up with a plan.
There is one thing that Fuzzy loves more than anything in the world and that is a treat. We give our cats wet food as a treat every Sunday because they only get dry food normally. Usually Fuzzy gets so excited about treats that when she hears the clank of their treat bowls she comes running and stands on her hind legs and waits for me to serve it up. Sometimes I feel bad because I am putting away the dishes and she hears the clank noise and comes running. I give her most of the sauce and a small amount of chunks and Chloe gets less sauce and more chunks. They both seem to like it that way. So in an effort to get Fuzzy moving I grabbed their bowls, clanked them loudly, made a big spectacle of opening the can and kept calling Fuzzy and telling her that it was treat time.
No response from the closet. I walk into the bedroom with her bowl and showed it to her. She meowed and just laid her head back down. I set the bowl down in the hall and called her again. She limped out slowly and stopped about 3 feet from the bowl and made a few jerky movements towards it but didn't move forward at all. That's when my OH SHIT alarm went off. Fuzzy not taking her treat with extra sauce!
I called the vet again and told them that I wanted to bring her in right now because I know something is seriously wrong with her. They said that someone had just brought there cat in that got hit by a car and they would not be able to see Fuzzy that night. They could take her, but the vet wouldn't be able to see her until the morning. I decided it would be better to keep her at home than make her sleep at the vet because even though they are really nice people she HATES them because every time she goes in there she gets a shot or blood drawn on a thermometer up her butt! I made an appointment for her for 8:30 AM. I figured I would check on her again in an hour or two and then DK and I could decide if she should go to the emergency vet.
A couple of hours passed and she seemed to be doing ok, maybe even a little bit better so we decided to take her to her regular vet in the AM. When we got there this morning she was being a very bad kitty. She was squirming all around when he was trying to check out her leg, between the two of us, one professionally trained at holding cats down and me, who is just used to my crazy cat, we could not hold down a 12 pound cat. The vet said that he would need to sedate her and take the x-rays and keep her for most of the day today.
He called about an hour ago with the news. Fuzzy tore (badly) the ligament in her knee. She gets to have surgery next week and we of course get to pay for it. (I would pay anything for my cats.) It will be a 3 month recovery. I feel so bad for her. Poor baby.
UPDATE: It will be a 2 - 3 month recovery. When the vet told me that I just thought: OK, that's how long it will take until she is up to full speed again. WRONG!!!! That means that she has to LIVE in a CRATE for 2 - 3 months. That is worse than the surgery!
So even if she has torn you open in the past and I know there are a lot of you, think good thoughts for her because her leg really hurts and she must be really scared. It is almost more than I can take to bring her to the vet once a year, so three times in one month is terrible.
Did you know that Johnny Depp used to have a tattoo that said "Winona Forever"? As in Winona Ryder. First of all, why would anyone name their kid Winona? Poor girl - if that were my name I might go shoplift crap too. I like Johnny Depp - I think he is creative. He had his tattoo changed to "Wino Forever"!!!! Awesome! The Winona Forever part must have fallen under the good old "It seemed like a good idea at the time" category. I have a whole list of things that I can say that about but fortunately none of them are permanently carved and inked on my body.Idaho couple's home infested with snakes
WILFORD, Idaho - The Hepworths knew the house would require some maintenance. But they never thought they'd need a snake charmer. Shortly after Lyman and Jeanine Hepworth began working on a rundown property outside of town, they experienced a trauma more fit for Samuel L. Jackson's character in "Snakes on a Plane" than a pair of eastern Idaho do-it-yourselfers.Snakes fell on Lyman Hepworth's head when he opened the door to a pump house near the small house the couple planned to buy.
"When it warmed up, we walked onto the yard and the whole yard moved," Jeanine Hepworth told the Rexburg Standard Journal.
One day, Lyman Hepworth reached to turn on a light and discovered the pull cord was actually a snake.
I am so sorry to everyone at Safeco last night that did not see me streak across the field. If it didn't require a night in jail I would totally do it, in a heartbeat and I would slap Sexson's ass run-by style and maybe the moose too. I am 26 and have never spent a night in jail or been convicted of anything. A little part of me thinks, hey you might as well just get it out of the way and what better way to do it than to run naked across the field at Safeco?
Shadrac my Pathfinder, I am so sorry that the doughnut bandit struck again. At this rate by next weekend you will have no tires left and the whole town will be covered in burnt rubber marks.
Neighbors, I am so sorry if you saw us streaking past your house last night. It seemed like a good idea since we missed our big chance at Safeco. That'll teach you to look out the window after dark huh?
He followed. And plummeted 50 feet into the river.
Then he swam about 100 yards to fish the bill from the water.
"I got my money back, hell yeah," Giorgio told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. "Twenty bucks is a lot of money when you're broke."
He was fished from the water by a passing Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer. Giorgio, who said he was already suffering from a broken collarbone, refused treatment for cuts and scrapes he suffered in the fall.
The other day at the store I was so excited to find a "Vegetable Style Instant Noodle Soup" in other words a generic vegetarian version of good old Cup O Noodle! I tried one for lunch today and I have to say it was good but I was a little disappointed.Note: the soup in the picture is the Tomato Beef style which I of course did not try, but the picture is exactly the same as the one I did try.
Please feel free to comment with your own bad adult description. :)
So it's after 1 AM and I just watched a few minutes of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Bri and I were in the hot tub for a few hours and then went out for Taco Bell, then I went and did doughnuts in the middle school parking lot, DAMN I LOVE DOUGHNUTS, THE CAR TYPE AS WELL AS THE SUGGARY TYPE. My husband is out playing cards. Dog looks like a modern day HEMAN!!!! They just busted some guy with over $10k worth of Meth, nice. A few good quotes from Dog: (Speaking at a public elementary school) What does school get you? Success!! If not, you go to jail!!! May God have mercy 'casue Dog will not!!
Happy Birthday to:
Related posts:
Update to July Announcements - 7/24/06
Ok, you know what? Chuckanucka. That's what. Chuckanucka worries about pretty much everything under the sun: What if the phone rings when I go out? What if the mailman tries to deliver my Deluxe Ugly Earmuffs when I'm in the bathroom? Hey, I don't remember leaving the closet door open just a crack like that! What if I can't ever stop thinking about my name over and over? Chuckanucka has a pretty strange way of looking at life. Sometimes he wonders if this is all just a hologram, and on other days he wonders what's going to happen if they stop making CD players... How will I play my favorite CDs??? I have over nine of them!!! Poor Chuckanucka. Lucky Chuckanucka.
Today is a very special day folks! I have my new Dwight Schrute bobble head on my desk! I am so excited - I love it! I can't stop flicking his head and watching him bobble! I am sure my office mate is getting sick of the tink, tink, tink noise.
This is amazing! At least he's good at something - getting caught!
