Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Right Place, Wrong Time.

I just read a post on the gallivanting monkey that reminded me of something that I did a few years back.

My mom had this cat named Mac that had cancer. He was hanging in there but needed to be medicated with human chemo drugs and human steroids twice daily. (We cut the pills up so they were the right dose.)

My mom had been pilling him with this cocktail for a year or so trying to prolong his life while he was still not in pain. She had the pilling down. Mac was a really mean cat - even before the cancer. He would tear into you any chance he got. Mom had this pilling system to avoid trips to the emergency room. These are the steps:
  1. Take a large bath towel and drop it on Mac.

  2. Wrap Mac in the towel like a baby.

  3. Grab the oval cat bed and lay the swaddled Mac in the bed.

  4. Pull the edges of the bed around the swaddled Mac.

  5. Grab a bungee cord (no, this is not a joke) and hook it around the swaddled Mac and the oval bed.

  6. What you have now is a Mac taco. Yes, a cat taco. Mac can't get his paws out so he can't scratch you while you are pilling him. Also, you can lay the Mac taco on the counter or table so you have both hands free for pilling. If you have ever pilled a cat you know how important this is.

My mom was going out of town for a week or two and I was on Mac duty. That meant coming over twice a day to pill him, feed him and scoop his litter box. My duty was to start on a Wednesday. I wake up on Saturday morning and realize that I have totally spaced out and have not pilled or fed Mac for 3 days! OMG - I probably just killed my mom's cat, how am I going to tell her? I have to rush over there and see if I can get him to the emergency vet if he's still alive. Shit, shit, shit, shit! I am normally so responsible - what happened? What was I thinking?

I jump in my car in my PJs and haul ass to my mom's house. I open the garage and bust through the door into the kitchen expecting the worst.

But what do I find? My mom, coffee mug in hand, standing in the kitchen in her robe looking at me like I am a complete maniac. WTF?

I was off by a week. OMG - I was off by a week. She wasn't leaving until the next week! Yay! Mac is alive and well! I didn't kill him. The end.


NuclearToast said...

Stay in school, kids, and don't do drugs, m'kay? The more you know... <whoosing star>

Bri said...

I can picture your mom just giving you this look of confusion as your running through the door like a crazy woman. Too funny..

Was Mac the one that would come outside in that weird rolly cage and watch us??

bladio said...


also i want to know more about this rolly cage that bri mentioned.