Monday, April 10, 2006

Free Cowboy Hats

I guess I am one of the few people in the world who knows about this. Please let me know in the comments if you have ever heard of this.

Have you ever been in a restroom or porta-potty and noticed that someone wrote "Free Cowboy Hats" on the seat cover dispenser? If you put one on your head it does kind of look like a cowboy hat, and it is free. You see this more in porta-potties than in real bathrooms.

A few weekends ago Bri and I were wine tasting in Woodinville. We had gone to seven wineries in a few hours and then we went to Carmine's in Kenmore for drinks. EC was mixing the vodka tonics on the strong side as usual, a glass of vodka, splash of tonic and a slice of lime. Yummy. So after three of those I was officially drunk.

Let me give you a little background on Carmine's. It used to be the Empire, a fun little bar that we frequented when CL lived right down the street. EC's dad owned it and EC would play and sing there on certain nights. It was a slightly rowdy place complete with pull tabs, fights, roofies and wrestling on the floor back by the dart boards. EC's dad turned it into Carmine's, a fancy steakhouse with a beautiful bar where the dart boards used to be. It's funny to sit in this candle lit, swanky bar and think that not too long ago my friends were wrestling on that very same floor.

I went to the newly remodeled, fancy ladies room (nice job on the wallpaper C!) and started laughing to myself at the toilet seat covers. Free Cowboy Hats. I grabbed one of the free cowboy hats for Bri, folded it up and put it in my pocket. You see, Bri just bought a brand new pickup truck, so she needs to wear a cowboy hat. I figured it would be close to impossible to convince her to buy one, so a free one would have to do. I went back to the bar where CG, T and Bri were sitting. There was also some random guy sitting a few stools down from us.

Without anyone saying anything I start laughing like crazy. The kind of laugh were you can't catch your breath and you can't really talk and tears are streaming down your face. They are all looking at me like I am crazy and I am trying to explain to them about the free cowboy hats, but the words just weren't coming out right. It probably sounded something like "fr-- cow-oy hhhhhhhhhhaattts, so ooo ooooooo -unny!"

I whip the folded up cowboy hat out of my pocket and hand it to Bri. Bri unfolds it and looks at me like what the fuck is this? Finally my laughing fit subsides and I am able to tell Bri that I got a free cowboy hat for her. She is perplexed, she has never heard of a free cowboy hat before and neither has T or CG! Oh my god! How can this be? We are about to leave and Bri asks EC if he has ever heard of a free cow... EC cuts her off and says "Oh, you mean a free cowboy hat?" Ha! I am not the only one!

We went out to Bri's truck and T stuck the cowboy hat over the antenna. Cute.

Later that night we ended up at the Workshop and sang karaoke. Good times.

My new mission is to spread the joy of free cowboy hats to every man, woman and child in the country and possibly the world. So next time you are in a porta-potty and the seat cover dispenser says free cowboy hats on it, there is a good chance that it came from my sharpie. (I am going to stick to porta-potties and not write it in real bathrooms.)

2 comments:

Bri said...

Ashley..Two things: First this post made me laugh so hard I was crying, secondly I think that since no one has responded to this that this can prove that no one knows what the hell your talking about with the free cowboy hats...I prove my point.

Ash said...

Please, someone help me win the free cowboy hat battle with Bri! If you knew about this post a comment! :)