PETA has finally lost it

Bladio occasionally blogs about new Ben & Jerry's flavors. I wonder what she thinks about this idea. I support many of PETA's causes. This is not one of them.

PETA asks Ben & Jerry's to switch to breast milk.

Man charged with battery for farting near cop

OMG, I was ROFL when I read this article!

Chris: take note of this cautionary tale!

Seriously, this article is so funny, you have to read it.

Jose A. Cruz is my new hero.
Dwight Schrute just got knocked down a notch.

FAIL!

I submitted this to the Fail blog today. I have my fingers crossed that they will select it!

OMG - I found an orphaned sock!

Random sock mania has hit my office! Check out what I found this morning! When I saw it, I was so excited I ran to my desk to grab my phone and snap a picture. I spilled hot tea on my hand in the process. Well worth the sting!

Scratch Padding, Nuclear Toast and Chronicles of a Nini have also found mysterious socks in or near their offices.

I think this is the result of static cling. Someone puts on a freshly washed and dried garment, oblivious to the fact that a sock is clinging on for dear life, wondering if it will ever be reunited with its mate. At some point the static cling loses its strength and POW, the sock falls to the ground. Why doesn’t this happen with other small items like underwear or washcloths? Why socks? Does anyone have any other theories as to why this happens?

Still no cigarettes!

I have gone 2.5 weeks without smoking. It's getting much easier. I rarely think about them now. When I do think about them, it's not really in a fond way anymore.

At what point do I say I quit smoking? I feel weird saying that. Right now I just say "I haven't smoked in 18 days!" And whoever I say that to asks "Oh, are you quitting?" Technically, I quit smoking 2.5 weeks ago, but it feels like I am still quitting, so when do I say that I have quit? I guess when I have been off the Chantix for a month. That seems like a good mark. What do you think?

Adios!

Guess who?

Can you guess who the man in this computer generated image is?

Click here to find out.

A nation obsessed & checkout counter impulse buying

I will be the first to admit that I find celebrity gossip and news interesting. I subscribe to Us Weekly. Occasionally, I will buy other magazines if they catch my eye at the checkout counter.* But I was shocked to find this statistic on MSN Entertainment. The top four People Magazine issues by sales:

1. 9/11 (4.1 million issues)
2. The death of Princess Diana (3 million)
3. The death of John F. Kennedy Jr. (2.8 million)
4. The Joile-Pitt twins (2.6 million)

I guess Americans like death and babies. Interesting. I can't even fathom how the Joile-Pitt twins can even make it onto the top 10 list with these other events. Wow. For the record, I did not buy the People issue with them on the cover. I'm kind of boycotting them. Not because I have negative feelings about them, just because I'm totally sick of hearing about them and seeing them. I also feel this way about Paris Hilton and the Cruise's.

*Checkout counter tangent:
I am the person - the consumer - that checkout counter impulse merchandising was designed for. I cannot remember the last time that I went to the store and didn't add at least one thing to my cart at the checkout counter.

The other day I was in the 8 items or less express line and I had 8 items. By the time it was my turn, I had 11. In the few short minutes I stood in line, I added a Hershey bar with almonds and two packs of gum to my basket. (By the way, my husband ate the Hershey bar while I was sleeping!) I looked at the checker and said, "I'm not cheating! I had 8 items when I got in line. These don't count." I was defensive about it because once he told me to get out of the 15 items or less line because I had 16 items. Yes, he actually counted and kicked me out of line. I was so embarrassed and offended. Plus, on the trip where I got booted from the fast lane, I had two avocados in my cart and I think that counts as one item because the Checkout-Nazi only needs to type in the code for avocados once. I know some of you disagree. Bring on the debate!

The other thing that I frequently and impulsively buy at the checkout counter is recipe booklets. You know, lots of the major food companies like Betty Crocker and Pillsbury publish them. They are little paperback cookbooks featuring recipes using their products and they have themes like Crockpot cooking, casseroles or appetizers. I am not really sure why I buy these, but I do.

Smokin: ur doin it rong

I haven't smoked since Saturday. That's two and a half days or 58 hours and 35 minutes to be exact. (You can look at the counter above the blog post section for an up to date count.) Prior to Saturday I was only smoking about half a cigarette a day, but I blew it on Saturday. I was sitting outside all evening and that is difficult. But I only had about three cigarettes on Saturday, so that's still a huge improvement over a month ago.

The ten year reunion

Yep, it's that time of the decade. My 10 year reunion is scheduled for October.

So this is the deal. I was a total outcast in high school. I had a small group of friends (the stoners). With the exception of the stoners and the ESL kids, no one was nice to me. I didn’t even graduate with this class, I graduated a year early and from another school.

So why am I even considering going? Good question! I am asking myself the same thing and this is what I have come up with. Two reasons: curiosity and The Mustard Seed. Let’s start with the obvious, it’s being held at The Mustard Seed. It would be hard to pass that up. I love the Seed! And of course I’m curious about how all of those popular people turned out. It helps that my husband is smart, hot and charming. It would be fun to show him off.

Buzz kill! I just read the info on the reunion web site and I have to say, my bubble has been burst.

Here is the schedule:

Friday night: Snacks, beverages and a slideshow at The Mustard Seed then trek up to the high school to cheer on the football team for the homecoming game. BARF!!!!! Are you kidding me? I didn’t go to games in high school. Why would I go now? No spouses allowed. Lame. $85

Saturday night: Food at the art museum, spouses allowed. $165! WTF?!?!? Why are they charging so much money?

In the process of writing this post I went from wanting to go to being pretty sure that I am not going to go. Also, I am not even sure why I got the email announcing it since I didn’t graduate with them and therefore am not on the alumni list.

What would you do?

Chantix

Well, I have been taking Chantix for about two and a half weeks now. It really is working. I don't crave nicotine anymore. I am no longer addicted to it. Even when I do smoke, I don't absorb any nicotine. Right now I am just focusing on breaking the habit of smoking. Sometimes I think I want to smoke, but if I light one, I don't really want it. It's a really strange feeling. It's like I am craving something, but I don't know what it is.

The down side to Chantix is that there are a few side effects. Most importantly, I am incredibly nauseas. I have been reading about this online and this is what other Chantix users are saying: (My comments are in parentheses.)

1. Take it with a full meal, not just some food.
   (Ok - this is hard, because I am supposed to take it first thing in the morning and again before bed time. Who wants to eat a full meal at either of those times?)
2. Cut each pill in half and take a half every four hours with a little food.
   (This seems like a good idea, but it is working so well, I am hesitant to mess with the dosage. I guess I should call my doctor and ask her.)
3. It only lasts for the first few weeks.
   (This was a huge relief to read. I hope the nausea goes away soon for me too.)
4. Many people lose weight while quitting with Chantix.
   (Duh! Because you don't want to eat!)

Also, the dreams have been an issue for me. I have horrible dreams that seem to last all night and they feel very real. A lot of times when I wake up I don't know what was real or what was a dream. Combine this with my existing sleep apnea and this girl is hardly sleeping at all. That sucks, but you know what? I have to say that it's worth it. I never thought anything would help me quit and I really think this is. And keep this in mind, recently, I have been thinking and saying that I can't live with the fatigue from sleep apnea; something has to change because I just can't handle feeling this way anymore. So now I am sleeping worse, but it is worth it. I can't explain it, it just is.

Yesterday, I didn't smoke at all until I got off work at 5:00 pm. I am shooting for 6:00 pm today. I hope to never smoke again starting on September first, but until then, if I am out with friends and want one, I will have one and not beat myself up about it. This is the way the doctors recommend quitting with Chantix.

Also, alcohol overrides the effects of Chantix.

I will post about this again when I go a whole day without smoking.

Weirdipedia

Strange disorders from Wikipedia:

Pica (Eating weird stuff)
Rapunzel syndrome (Eating hair)
Bezoar (The real name for a hairball - I had no idea that humans could get hairballs! I guess you can if you have Rapunzel syndrome. I wonder if humans make the same noise as cats do when they have a hairball. If we ever get another cat I want to name it Bezoar.)

What a morning!

How has your morning been? Mine has been, well... interesting.

I called Cigna, my health insurance provider today to see what is taking them so long to approve a CPAP machine for my sleep apnea. I dialed the 800 number and hear heavy breathing and groaning. It sounded something like this... (My comments are in parentheses.)

(Low pitched) Ahhh, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, (getting higher pitched) aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, (very high pitched) aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, (all out screaming) OH BABY! YES! YES! YES! OH BABY! HARDER!

EEK! At this moment I realize that Cigna probably hasn't changed their automated menu options to "press one for a fake orgasm". Holy crap! I dialed a phone sex hotline! It turns out the Cigna member services phone number is one digit away from a phone sex 800 number!

So I have a few questions for all of you out there.

1. Who calls phone sex hotlines anyways? I didn't even know they still existed! Isn't that what the Internet is for?
2. Do 900 numbers still exist?
3. How do 800 phone sex lines bill you? I am guessing you have to enter a credit card.

I CAREFULLY redialed the Cigna phone number and when an agent answered I said "You know what? I just have to tell you this. If you misdial your 800 number by one digit..." She bursts out laughing, I didn't even have to finish my sentence and she said "I KNOW! I had an elderly gentleman call recently and tell me that he had misdialed and heard heavy breathing."

Update: It seems that all of you perverts out there want the phone number, so here it is. (I also added the Cigna number so that you can see how close they are.)

1-800-244-6224 (Cigna member services)
1-800-224-6224 (Phone sex hotline)

Enjoy!

The Pampered Pet

I thought this slide show, "Pet Pampering Gone Wild" was really funny. All 18 slides are worth looking at, but I especially like slides 2, 7, 13, and 15.

Seriously, who buys a sex toy for their dog?!?!?! Eewwwwwwwwww.

I'm back

Vacation was fun, but it's good to be home. This is the one and only photo I took on my trip:

Vacation

I'll be back in 10 days...

Stinkers

Generally I don't blog about work, but I just can't let this one slide.

There are a few people in my building who totally fucking stink. I just walked by a guy in the hallway and no joke, I almost threw up. He smelled like an old nasty (probably brown in color) towel that got wet and sat in a pile on the floor for a couple of weeks. Not really a body odor smell, but a horrible musty smell. How does this guy not smell himself? Seriously. I passed him a few feet away and I was over powered by it. What does his house smell like? I don't even want to know.

Sometimes I get in an empty elevator and I can smell the nastiness of the person who was in there before me.* How bad do you have to smell to have your stink linger in an elevator long after you leave?

*Yes, I realize this could be cosmic payback for my elevator prank.

Luckily none of these stinkers are on my team. I cannot imagine sitting in a conference room with them. I honestly don't think I could do it.

Again?!?!?

Sleep study #2 tomorrow night. Aggg.

Chloe - Things are looking up

Some of you know that our cat Chloe had some type of "episode" early last week. I will give a summary for those of you who don't know.

A week ago Tuesday, DK and I were getting ready for work and Chloe was acting like her usual self, shadowing me around the house. She likes to go into the bathroom with me, sit on my dressing table or in my lap while I put on makeup, and just generally follow me all over the place. We were about to leave and DK heard a thud from the den. He looked in and saw Chloe stumbling around like a little, furry, four-legged drunk. He called me over to look. When I looked in, she was sitting upright under the coffee table. Then all of a sudden she tipped over onto her side. It was really scary. I picked her up and called the vet. Because of her age and heart condition (she has a leaky heart valve), they said I should bring her in just to be on the safe side.

We got to the vet and they wanted to keep her all day. They wanted to do a full blood work-up and take x-rays. The vet said that without any test results, her first thought was that maybe because of Chloe’s leaky heart valve, she had missed a few beats and the lack of oxygen to her brain made her faint. She had no signs of a concussion. We thought maybe the thud was her falling (no, she does not land on her feet) and maybe she bumped her head.

Most of the test results came back late last week as normal. The vet suggested that we take her to a kitty cardiologist. That appointment was today, more on that later.

Early this week another blood test result came back indicating that she has very mild hyperthyroidism. The short version is that the thyroid gland overproduces a hormone. That hormone can damage a lot in the body, including the heart. This is bad news for a cat that already has a heart condition. The good news is that her case is very mild and we caught it very early. She can be treated either with oral medication, topical gel or radioactive iodine. These are the treatment options:

• Pill twice daily


• Medicated treat twice daily


• Medicated ear gel twice daily


• Once yearly radioactive iodine treatment

Obviously, we want to pick the treatment that is easiest on Chloe and us.

I think the pilling would be traumatic for her and a pain in the ass for us. I think she will learn the pilling schedule and hide when she knows it’s time. The pills can also cause vomiting.

The medicated treat option sounds a little better. We wouldn’t have to shove something down her throat twice a day and she does love treats, but we would have to isolate her from our other cat so that the other cat doesn’t eat her medicine. As with pilling this option makes our lives a little harder and requires a set schedule as well as someone to come by twice daily when we travel.

The medicated ear gel presents the same schedule and travel problems and it can irritate the skin.

I think the radioactive iodine treatment is our best bet. We would only have to do it once a year. The difficult part is that she has to be at a special facility where they administer the injection for around four days, some cats take a week or more, and some shorter. When she came home we would need to isolate her from Fuzzy for a few days and collect her waste in special medical waste containers. It is also advised that she not be around children or pregnant women for two weeks after the injection. This all sounds very extreme, but I think overall, it may be better for her. She would have four days of trauma per year versus being traumatized twice a day with pilling. The vet said the facility is really nice; the people there are great and they spend a lot of time snuggling, holding and playing with each cat. She said it’s really very comfortable for them. This also would be easier for us. Although it would be heartbreaking to both of us send her off for a few days, the rest of the year would be normal. This treatment does not cause her any pain according to the vet.

I dropped Chloe off this morning at the cardiologist’s office. They did an EKG (electrocardiogram) and a ECG (echocardiogram or cardiac ultrasound). DK and I went to pick her up around noon and met with the cardiologist. Her heart is slightly enlarged, but it’s a very mild enlargement. That could be a result of the hyperthyroidism or it could be that she had mild heart disease before the onset of the mild hyperthyroidism. The plan going forward is to start treating her hyperthyroidism and bring her back for another cardiac ultrasound three months after her thyroid hormone levels stabilize. If at that time her heart is still enlarged, they will assume that the enlargement is not due to her hyperthyroidism. If her heart is back down to a normal size, they will know that the hyperthyroidism caused her heart to enlarge.

Curiously enough, the cardiologist said that after reviewing the results, she does not believe that the episode last week was related to her heart. That is good news, but it also makes me worry a little about what might have caused it. We may never know. We are supposed to feel her heart rate a couple times of week (just by holding a hand to her chest) and keep a general count of that. If she ever faints again, we are supposed to feel her heart rate again right then and report back to the cardiologist. If we notice that during a fainting spell her heart rate changes that could give us some clues to why it happened. Hopefully it will never happen again.

A note on her leaky heart valve: Over the years, the level of that has gone up (from undetectable to a 2-3), but according to the cardiologist, just because they hear a level 2 or 3, that doesn't mean she has a level 2 or 3 all of the time. The level can read higher (worse) based on her activity and stress levels. Of course every time she is at the vet, she is super stressed, so her heart rate is elevated, therefore making the leaky valve more noticeable and raising the rating level. It could be that at home, relaxed and calm, she is only a level one, we don't know.

So I guess the bottom line is that she is not a ticking time bomb. That was my big concern, that we could lose her any day. It will be nice to not worry every time I go home that I may find she passed away during the day. We can live with and treat the hyperthyroidism. It’s great news that she does not need heart medication.

Laffing mai freekin ass off!!

more cat pictures