I called Cigna, my health insurance provider today to see what is taking them so long to approve a CPAP machine for my sleep apnea. I dialed the 800 number and hear heavy breathing and groaning. It sounded something like this... (My comments are in parentheses.)
(Low pitched) Ahhh, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, (getting higher pitched) aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, (very high pitched) aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, ahhh, aaaaaaa, aaaaaa, (all out screaming) OH BABY! YES! YES! YES! OH BABY! HARDER!
EEK! At this moment I realize that Cigna probably hasn't changed their automated menu options to "press one for a fake orgasm". Holy crap! I dialed a phone sex hotline! It turns out the Cigna member services phone number is one digit away from a phone sex 800 number!
So I have a few questions for all of you out there.
- Who calls phone sex hotlines anyways? I didn't even know they still existed! Isn't that what the Internet is for?
- Do 900 numbers still exist?
- How do 800 phone sex lines bill you? I am guessing you have to enter a credit card.
I CAREFULLY redialed the Cigna phone number and when an agent answered I said "You know what? I just have to tell you this. If you misdial your 800 number by one digit..." She bursts out laughing, I didn't even have to finish my sentence and she said "I KNOW! I had an elderly gentleman call recently and tell me that he had misdialed and heard heavy breathing."
Update: It seems that all of you perverts out there want the phone number, so here it is. (I also added the Cigna number so that you can see how close they are.)
1-800-244-6224 (Cigna member services)
1-800-224-6224 (Phone sex hotline)
Enjoy!
8 comments:
OMG!!! LOL! How funny would that have been if you had called them from work and put it on speaker?
Luckily, because I was expecting to ask medical questions, I did not have the phone on speaker and I was in a room with the door shut!
You KNOW that on Saturday the guys are gonna want that 800 number from you....
Saturday? TODAY!
good afternoon ppl. I'm actually into shoes and I have been looking for that singular make. The prices for the velcros are approximately 300 dollars on every site. But finally I bring about this locate selling them for the benefit of half price. I in reality love these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will definetly buy these. what is your opinion?
good morning dudes. I'm actually into shoes and I had been digging allowing for regarding that particular make. The prices seeking the boots were all over 170 bucks everwhere. But completely I base this locate selling them for half price. I in reality want these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will definetly order those. what do you think?
Shoes specially made for losing weight are available today and [B][URL=http://www.mbtplus.com/]mbt shoes clearance[/URL][/B] can be quite effective. These shoes have been out for a while and some companies have risen to the top [B]mbt shoes sale[/B] demonstrated that they can provide a quality product to consumers. One [U]MBT[/U] such type of these shoes is the MBT Shoe made by a company called Swiss Masai. In case you [U][B]buy mbt shoes[/U][/B] did not MBT stands for Masai Barefoot Technology. In this write up we want to take a [U]mbt shoes cheap[/U] closer look at these special shoes.
The development and idea behind the MBT shoe design is quite [U][B]MBT[/U][/B] interesting. What the shoe attempts to do is structure the shape of the shoe so [U]mbt sneakers[/U] that it simulates walking on sand. Specifically, the they want to attempt to make it as if you are walking [U]mbt sneakers[/U] along the natural sand environment of the Masai in Kenya. Sports trainers have known for quite a while now [U]MBT[/U] that working out on dry sand is a great way to get in excellent cardiovascular condition. As you [U]mbt shoes best prices[/U] walk on sand it creates an uneven surface on your feet and it forces you to shift your center of gravity to [U]mbt walking shoes[/U] an unnatural position. Your body compensates for this by using several different [B]mbt shoes sale[/B] muscle groups in your feet, calves, thighs, and torso that you would not use wearing typical shoes. This is the ideas [U]mbt sandals[/U] behind the MBT weight loss shoes and it does seem to [B][URL=http://www.mbtplus.com/]mbt shoes review[/URL][/B] work for some people.
More specifically, MBT makes several positive claims [U]mbt discount shoes[/U] and benefits from wearing their shoes. They will take muscle groups [U][B]mbt walking shoes[/U][/B] not normally used in walking and make them active. The shoes will give you a better posture, and a more effective [U][B]discount mbt shoes[/U][/B] gait when walking with or without the shoes. It can [B]mbt sandals[/B] potentially help you with problems you may have with your back, hips, legs, and feet. The [U][B]mbt sandals[/U][/B] shoes can help you recover from injuries to your [B]mbt discount shoes[/B] tendons, joints, ligaments, or muscles. The shoes are also designed to alleviate tension and stress [U]MBT shoes[/U] on your lower joints.
Another particular claim [B]mbt discount shoes[/B] of MBT is that is you walk one mile in these weight [U][B]MBT[/U][/B] loss shoes it will be as if you walked two miles in ordinary shoes, and you will burn equivalent calories. One thing [B]MBT shoes[/B] is for sure, users find that after the first few [B]buy mbt shoes[/B] times they walk in the shoes their calf and thigh muscles are sore. Also, while you are [U]mbt discount shoes[/U] just starting to use the shoes they will feel uncomfortable [U]mbt shoes clearance[/U] but that feeling goes away after twenty [U]mbt shoes cheap[/U] minutes or so. Once you get used to the feel of the shoes users find that they can [U][B]mbt shoes cheap[/U][/B] walk effortlessly and comfortably. The shape of the sole is designed [U][B]mbt sandals[/U][/B] to make you walk with your back straight and your [B]mbt shoes cheap[/B] stomach flat, and your whole stride shortens up and quickens. These are [U][B]footwear etc[/U][/B] the major effects that owners of MBT shoes [U][B]discount mbt shoes[/U][/B] experience.
As y'all might have noticed, I will do whatever it takes to [B][URL=http://www.tiffanyfree.uk.com]tiffany rings[/URL][/B] weed out the most popular and chic jewelry around, even it takes traveling to [U][B]tiffany earrings[/U][/B] very warm, beautiful areas like the island of Siesta Key in Florida. In fact, I'm even staying an extra few days here [U]pandora jewellery[/U] just to make sure that I absorb as much information and style as humanly [B]tiffany necklaces[/B] possible (either that or I'm simply not interested in journeying back to the cold tundra that is New York City). Either way, this is the best way for me to [B]pandora[/B] report back to you all the excellent styles that are pervading the fashion scene for the [U]tiffany uk][/U] spring and summer of 2009!
If any of you saw the 2008 romantic comedy, Fool's [U][B]pandora jewellery[/U][/B] Gold, I'm certain you found yourself frantically Googling Kate Hudson's Palm [B][URL=http://www.tiffanyfree.uk.com]tiffany sets[/URL][/B] Tree Necklace to find out where you could get one just like it. The palm tree necklace was popular last year, and is still flying [B]pandora bracelets[/B] off the shelves today. There truly is something appealing about this shining sterling silver and cubic zirconia necklace with its intricate palm tree design. Of course, we're all aware that [B]tiffany engagement rings[/B] the palm tree necklace that Kate wears in the movie is the real Tiffany & Co. version, which is made of diamonds, but unless you [U][B]tiffany charms[/U][/B] are also a multi-millionaire like Kate, you probably will also stick to the inspired [U]tiffany necklaces][/U] version.
On top of various forms of palm tree jewelry, I have [U]pandora jewellery[/U] found a bevvy of starfish, seahorse, and turquoise and coral-colored jewelry in the many boutiques and shops that Siesta [U]tiffany necklaces][/U] Key boasts. Look for two-tone starfish jewelry as a big hit this spring and summer, as well [U][B]pandora beads[/U][/B] as the Tiffany Inspired Anchor Necklaces, which is another fan-favorite. It also incorporates a [B]pandora beads[/B] sterling silver and cubic zirconia design that is nautical and airy for the [B]tiffany bracelets[/B] warmer weather.
Michelle is a member of the Mademoiselle Jewelry [B]tiffany necklaces[/B] team - a company that was founded on the principal that jewelry is art. Mademoiselle Jewelry specializes in [U]tiffany jewellery][/U] unique jewelry, Tiffany Inspired jewelry and sterling silver jewelry. Each piece of jewelry is hand [U][B]pandora beads[/U][/B] selected for quality, uniqueness, and creativity. Mademoiselle Jewelry also carries jewelry lines specifically [B]pandora[/B] designed for men and children.
Post a Comment