Guess what happened to me tonight! I got super glue on my tongue. Yep, super glue on my tongue. You may be wondering how this happened.
My sunglasses broke. No big deal right? I can just super glue them back together. Super glue can fix anything!
In the 80's, my dad was way ahead of his time. He used to use (and probably still does) super glue to close cuts. Guess what they do now in hospitals. They close wounds with a super glue like substance. I bet it stings a lot less than the real thing though.
Back to the sunglasses... so I open a fresh tube of super glue. You know how you have to use the little pokey thing on the top of the cap to puncture the seal? Well, I did that. Then I capped the tube while I was reassembling my sunglasses. When I got the lense back in I grabbed the tube of super glue with one hand, sunglasses in the other. I bit the cap and twisted the tube to open it. Somewhere in there I touched my tongue to the end of the cap, the pokey end that I had just used to puncture the seal, thus contaminating it with super glue. As soon as I felt the glue spread onto my tongue I rubbed my tongue against the back of my front teeth. Bad idea! Now I have super glue on my tongue and my teeth! I read the label and it has all these warnings about what to do if you get it in your eyes, on your skin, on you clothes, etc. but nothing about what to do if you get it in your mouth.
I hope it doesn’t cause memory loss, dementia, insanity or anything crazy like that...
There are 1023 toothpicks on the floor.
Satan wants to meet you...
and your mom!
It tastes like burning.
I see dead people.
You know who I am? Do you know who I am sucka? I'm your worst nightmare.
Just kidding! Did you think I went nuts from super glue poisoning? Ha ha haaaaaaaaa!