Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Today I ordered takeout from Azteca. When I get Mexican takeout and eat at my desk, I usually get a quesadilla (no meat) with a side of rice and beans.

I really like nachos better, but they are messy and I can’t work and eat them at the same time because I would get beans and cheese grease all over my keyboard and mouse. Nasty!

I called in my order just like I always do. Here is a rough transcript of my call.

Azteca lady: Ello, tank you for calling Azteca Redman.
Me: Hi, can I make a to-go order please?
Azteca lady: Yez, one minat…
Azteca lady: K, what can I get you?
Me: Can I please have a cheese quesadilla, no meat with a half side order of both rice and beans?
Azteca lady: No meat? Yez?
Me: Right, no meat.
Azteca lady: k – it ready in tin minat.
Me: Ok – thanks.
Azteca lady: Bye.
Me: Bye.
End of call.

I hop in my car, drive to Azteca, pick up my bag of food and drive back to my office. Yum! I can hardly wait! I get to my desk and start opening the take out containers. The rice looks good – the beans look great – they gave me a big bag of chips with extra salsa – guacamole and sour cream: check.

W-T-F is this? My quesadilla is in a whole wheat tortilla and stuffed with broccoli and carrots! WTF?!!?!? Ahhhhhgggggggghhhhhhhggggg! I like all of these ingredients, JUST NOT TOGETHER - IN MEXICAN FOOD! When I order a cheese quesadilla, I expect cheese and tortilla and maybe a touch of pico de gallo*! Not fucking garden vegetables! Does “no meat” really mean “load that fucker up with vegetables and other healthy shit”? Do they think that because I don’t eat meat that I need some extra broccoli and carrots in my diet? Do they assume that because I don’t eat meat I would want a whole wheat tortilla? I was so disappointed.

* Totally unrelated to the story, but did you know that pico de gallo means “rooster's beak” in Spanish. Huh? What’s up with that?!?!

I call them back and explain that I think I got the wrong thing. They were very nice and said to come back and they would quickly fix a NORMAL quesadilla. I was happy with that. I put the untouched yuckadilla in the kitchen with a post-it note on it saying that if someone wanted it they could take it and someone took it! I was kind of surprised but to each his own.


Bri said...

This is so funny. I love the telephone conversation reenactment. yez. Lol

NuclearToast said...

I think vegetarians everywhere are insulted by your anti-broccoli tirade. Mexicans like el brĂ³culi too, you know.

But thanks for the new word. Anything icky will now be referred to as "yuck-a-DEE-a".

DK said...

Geez - don't piss off a vegetarian!

Raggedy Angst said...

Seriously, that's just wrong. I mean, most of us veggie types get plenty of the broc in our diets -- we don't want it sticking its healthy, high-fiber nose into our recreational food! Jeez!

bladio said...

Gross! That is just so gross and disappointing.

CJ said...

wow, i'm totally impressed that you went back. I get SO mad when people screw up take-out orders. Don't ever order Ihop take out. One time i ordred 4 meals, of which all 4 were wrong.