Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Bachelor
Ladies (I am using that term loosely) of The Bachelor... Buy bras and lay off the self tanner!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The watering hole
Today at work I went to the water cooler to get some water. The two women in front of me getting water were both very, very pregnant. I almost blurted out “Holy shit, what are they putting in that water?!?!” I caught myself just in time and started laughing instead. They probably think I am crazy.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Pens
Today I was in a meeting and the lady sitting next to me was taking notes with a paper and pen. I can hear a tapping noise so I look over and see that her pen has one of those ball chains attached to the end of it, you know, like at the teller's window at the bank?!?!?! She may as well have had a sign over her head that said "I steal office supplies!"
This reminded me of a story that I am sure most of you have heard, but I will tell it anyway for the benefit of anyone who doesn't know me in real life.
In the mid-nineties, I was a receptionist for an Internet startup. The developers would ALWAYS steal my pens, stapler, tape, etc. even though the supply room was well stocked and just a few steps from my desk. I grew tired of having to put callers on hold because I didn't have a pen to write with. I had one of those cool carbon copy message pads because back then, when someone was out of the office, I would ask "would you like so-and-so's voicemail or can I take a message for you?"
NO ONE takes written messages anymore! I digress, the point is, I started labeling all of my pens, and other miscellaneous office supplies so that I could catch the thieves and retrieve the stolen goods.
Fast forward 5 years and I am now out of school and working as a network administrator. (I know, I know - odd career choice for me – it didn't last long.) One day I went to the data center down south* grabbed the pen at the front desk to sign in and guess what? Yep, it had my label on it. Totally my label! I look down and I see "Ashley's pen!" Small world. You have to figure that the pen had to have been hiding out somewhere for a few years. No way had it actually lasted that long with regular use. Or maybe it was a magic pen.
*What was the name of that place – does anyone remember?
This reminded me of a story that I am sure most of you have heard, but I will tell it anyway for the benefit of anyone who doesn't know me in real life.
In the mid-nineties, I was a receptionist for an Internet startup. The developers would ALWAYS steal my pens, stapler, tape, etc. even though the supply room was well stocked and just a few steps from my desk. I grew tired of having to put callers on hold because I didn't have a pen to write with. I had one of those cool carbon copy message pads because back then, when someone was out of the office, I would ask "would you like so-and-so's voicemail or can I take a message for you?"
NO ONE takes written messages anymore! I digress, the point is, I started labeling all of my pens, and other miscellaneous office supplies so that I could catch the thieves and retrieve the stolen goods.
Fast forward 5 years and I am now out of school and working as a network administrator. (I know, I know - odd career choice for me – it didn't last long.) One day I went to the data center down south* grabbed the pen at the front desk to sign in and guess what? Yep, it had my label on it. Totally my label! I look down and I see "Ashley's pen!" Small world. You have to figure that the pen had to have been hiding out somewhere for a few years. No way had it actually lasted that long with regular use. Or maybe it was a magic pen.
*What was the name of that place – does anyone remember?
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